Tuesday, December 13, 2011

PRESSURED SPEECH

"Pressure of speech is a tendency to speak rapidly and frenziedly, as if motivated by an urgency not apparent to the listener. The speech produced, sometimes called pressured speech, is difficult to interrupt and may be too fast or too tangential for the listener to understand; it is an example of cluttered speech. It can be unrelating, loud and without pauses." (Wikipedia)

Amen. I've got that. On occasion.

I'm sure there are thousands of people the world over who hate me for it. Especially when I try too hard to be witty.

I encounter conversationalists (?) now and then who can't stand being interrupted, or have to stop and think before they speak, or need to FINISH what they're saying. Oh, the ones who talk so ssssssss-lllllllllll-ooooooooooo-wwwwwwww. (Fred, you know who you are.) I find myself wanting to reach down their throats and pull the words out.

At least I hurry up and get to the damn point when I talk. (Don't I?) Plus I can carry on two or more conversations at the same time, listen and talk at the same time. Otherwise I confuse people and drive them nutz.

Oh,  I also try to set them straight regarding the truth or at least the facts. I challenge their opinions in a polite way for the most part, and assert myself in a way I just can't do in the rest of my life.

Another problem is the difference between the way women listen and men listen. A woman nods her head or in some cases shakes her head and makes little comments while listening. This means, "Go ahead, I'm listening."

Men consider that nodding indicates agreement, and comments are rude. Without some feedback you never know whether they're listening or not.

My brother is one example. He goes on and on about something (much like I do) and actually stops when I murmur and all the while he's getting angrier and angrier. It's like he can't talk when there are other people around.

His wife told me, in private, that our constant arguing was making her sick--literally--and I ought to wait til my brother was finished before saying anything.

Well,  here's an explanation:

1: I don't want to make people sick, but I think most people need to learn how to deal with things for themselves. .

2: I've reached the point in my life when I'm not going to allow myself to do things the way some MAN's behavior pressures me to. I'm not that codependent anymore. I'm old and single, what do I have to lose? I just can't understand why these mens' significant others put up with it.

3: AND my brother and I are NOT arguing. That's just the conversation style we used in our family. Genetic, so to speak. We talk a lot, talk fast, debate everything, and do all that LOUD.

I've adapted that to a form of "preaching"

I've told my friends that if they want to talk to me they're going to have to learn to interrupt and/or talk over me. I don't mind. It's just my conversation "style." They don't have to follow my example but it helps. They don't have to change their conversation style, just bear with it for awhile if they'd like to be part of my conversation. My talk isn't aggressive; theirs should be. (I don't see why this is different than the way my brother talks but it just is.)

I have so many thoughts and ideas that I just express them fast enough. (And evidently people don't consider trivia relevant to everyday life.) At least I do to add now, "I probably told you this already but..." and the more polite "Sorry to change the subject..." and plunge forward.

I wish I could write as fast as I talk. And as much. I'd have a 20-volume. memoir published by now.

This is my third blog entry today. About the same subject. Be warned: I also have bouts of hypergraphia.

Toodle-ooo.

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