In regards to the recent family issue, I would like to state the bottom line on it, since I have been told to "shut up" and that the lines of communication in regards to healing this collective situation are closed.
What happened: Some close relatives and a close friend did something--while not "wrong"per se, they behaved "wrongly."
I reacted to it in a severe way and exhibited some behavior--tho I was not "wrong" to feel what I felt (no one ever is) I exhibited my feelings "wrongly."
The difference is -- I apologized from my behavior.
I was upset and I responded -- I rejected their behavior.
They were upset and responded -- they rejected me as a person/human being/soul.
Lack of kindness and ability to respond to another person with compassion is a very serious spiritual illness. It is never considered "the right thing to do" in any religious or philosophical frame of reference, professional or personal.
But meanness in American society is on the increase, much to the detriment of our country and individual people trying to deal with everyday life in an increasingly hostile society. I will never find cruelty to be correct (or even as entertainment as current "reality" television demonstrates.)
For the sake of "harmony" part of my extended family and my friend who was like a sister to us, cowardly have to save face and continue to insist they did nothing wrong.
For the sake of harmony, I have to stop allowing myself to be a repeated victim of emotional abuse every time I try to open a dialog on the subject with hopes of healing the rift.
This breaks my heart over and over again.
The show of a lack of respect, especially for the older generation, is appalling. In my family I was raised in, we might have thought someones behavior was bizarre or silly or even downright bad, but we never condemned our own relatives and friends for being who and what they were regardless of their behavior. While we were not especially spiritual as a family, we had respect and a commitment to acting in a loving manner because we believed we were loving and it was the right thing to do.
I believe, if someone claims they're a loving, spiritual-based person, they need to act in a loving, spiritual way to be truly consistent mind, heart and soul. And when they fall short, even if it is unintentional--and being human we all will fall short--people need to recognize it immediately, take responsibility for the fact there are consequences to everything one does (like it or not) and do something positive to counteract it.
Ignoring the consequences that result from your behavior is not a thinking, feeling, enlightened way to resolve a problem.
There is nothing more I can say to these particular people without them heaping more rejection and/or abuse on me. I cannot put the initial situation behind me because of the severe and continued abuse that has been continued as a result. It's not just in the past, it's on-going and continuing into the here and now over and over.
My husband and I are living in a state of shock, heart-break and grief. So if you can't help us get over the pain of our loss of family, lost harmony and acceptance, and personal and professional setbacks: please, leave us alone. You are being part of the problem, not part of the solution. We will turn to the love and kindness of other sincere people and, of course, to Spirit to heal.
Love and Light, Sandy Schairer
Photo, copyright by Ted Clarke, Kalamazoo Michigan