WRITING

I thought I'd start blogging right away this morning because my head is full of words and some of them, the ones formed into actual sentences, are clamoring to get out.

I'm not exactly inspired or eager. I just have a lot to say and no one around to talk to.

Besides I have to put off vacuuming to the last minute. I do better with a deadline. And a friend I've known since mid-school is stopping by on her way from L.A., CA to someplace else. She has this really cool van with extra headroom and a queen sized bed and a warm feather comforter.

She's fearless of driving on freeways and around cities. I guess it's the training she's had on treacherous CA freeways. (I, on the other hand, live in the country far enough away from a SMALL city, so I don't need to drive on freeways.) On I-40 in Albuquerque people actually let you into traffic when your coming from an on-ramp. Except the people from out-of-state. Theey're most likely from CA. And trucks don't count being filled with crazy truck drivers apparently above the law.

My friend thinks nothing of driving three-thousand miles alone. She pulls over into parking lots at night to sleep. (Godforbid, is it a WalMart parking lot?)

I have two questions for her that I don't have the guts to ask. Is she armed? And does she have a port-a-potty in there?

Also this morning, I can see my reflection in the computer screen and my hair, from sleeping all night, is a mess. I look like a 1960's NY artist. I plan to take a shower and fix my hair after I vacuum, right after she calls and says she's nearly here.

I just can't tear myself away from writing sometimes. Especially when my brain keeps streaming me words like Netlix streams me movies.

I have to let the ideas out or my head might explode splattering words everywhere. Another thing I'd have to vacuum up.

I took my last two blog entries off this blog Advising Myself? And started a new one called Advising Myself Too (get it? too/two?) They had "adult" words and I have to post a "warning. I've always thought people who talked cuss words and dirty remarks were not "adult" but rather immature.

There you go.

I do love to cuss as much as I love to use big, intellectual words to show how smart I really am and not immature. I guess some people just think that's stupid.

You know the difference between dumb and stupid, don't you? My son told me this about 20 years ago (when he was 11.) Dumb is when you don't know anything. Stupid is when everything you know is wrong.

Perhaps you've heard that old joke. Sorry. I'm not dumb or stupid. The worst I can be chastised for is either trying to show I'm smarter than other people, or of dumbing myself down so people will think I'm normal like them. See? I use bad grammar to ingratiate myself to the masses.

I hope you check out my other blog Advising Myself Too. I think the entries (two so far) have more to offer than this silly blog; that is, if you can stand reading assorted "adult" words and the occasional f-word. (BTW, I think blogspot might have a computer that scans for dirty words. I can't imagine a real person reading these blogs.)

So, where was I?

Ah, words. This blog is for and about writers today. Specifically it's about breathing. Or writing about it. I know writers are looking for new and exciting words to say the same old thing over and over. But, come on, some of these things are just awful.

My pet peeve is the narrative containing "He took a deep breath and blew it out." It brings to mind an image of a guy pursing his lips and blowing like he's putting out this birthday cake.

The expression "He took a deep breath and let it out slowly," brings to mind one of those seminars where some guru is trying to teach an auditorium to visualize or meditate. He can even say, "Take a deep breath and blow it out." if it's for dramatic effect and emphasis.

Why can't the writers just say, "He took a deep breath." I mean, the exhale is a given, right? We all know you breathe out after you breathe in. Unless of course you want to set a mood and convey something like a victim dangling from a noose. "He took a deep breath and gasped for air." Now that would be descriptive enough to give you an inkling that you're reading something like Stephen King.

Well, that's it. That's my message today. (I'll bet some writers just cringe when I write "well" at the beginning of a sentence. But if I write like I talk, well, "well" is a good word to set a mood and let you know it's a blog and not horror novel.)

I have to go clean up the house. And then myself. Though, I've heard it said (Dear Abby?) that people come to you, not your house. It helps if they don't step in something sticky. Although, getting covered in cat hair from the waist down is a given, right?

Thanks for reading me!



Cat Clip Art