Monday, November 23, 2009

Life as a 3-Ring Circus?

We spoke about the holidays in my grief support group tonight. It's doing a lot of inner work on me but it is only a short workshop. I have a feeling I need something on-going.

My life is truly a three-ring circus right now. I am dealing with grief, dealing with my own health & life, and getting used to having kids and grandkids living with me.

A big adjustment--not as much money. On retirement. Too old to start a new career?

Heal from loss and grief and/or finding friends and perhaps another relationship? Lots of questions to avoid, I mean, tackle.

I am a writer, a minister or druid, take your pick, and metaphysician with a PhD in Holistic Health.

Unemployed ?...if no one reads your stuff, are you really a writer? If you don't practice your ministry in a "job" is it still ministry? If I am in metaphysics & holistic health life-coach with no coaching clients, am I that?

I am full of love and life and gratitude. And I have no one special person to share it with, to share my life with, and share my love with. It's ironic, the more alive and joyful I feel, the more frustrated I feel.
Temporary I hope.

I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for something. I am getting old. I can't wait anymore. I want my real life now!!!

My late husband Ed loved me unconditionally and I loved him the same. Oh, it's true human love is only a manifestation of pure divine love. But 22 years with him is not enough. I hope there is reincarnation and he and I will fall in love again and again and again. And I hope I can still claim the right to find another soulmate this time around.


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