While it is true that a person's emotional reaction to something IS their own responsibility, that does not let everyone off the hook regarding their own behavior and/or dealing with the results of their behavior whether it was intended or not. We are all responsible for what we do and pretending it has no consequences is foolish.
You said you don't have to feel responsible nor to apologize because you didn't "intend" to hurt me. But I felt hurt and your hostile reaction to MY reaction was even more hurtful and incomprehensible than the original action.
Everything a person does does effect others--in fact, "they" say, it effects the whole Universe, like a ripple effect of throwing a pebble in a pond. "They" also say that you get back consequences from your actions and attitudes, like it or not.
So those two factors would seem to point towards taking responsibility more than trying to "worm-out" of things with hostile emails telling me to shut-up, threatening me with even more hostility, and finally giving both of us the royal silent treatment.
Sorry, but those reactions don't seem any "better" than my reaction to being hurt and becoming sad and angry and consequently being forced to deal with it all on my own.
Not that there is a "right or wrong" at play here in Reality. There's just LOVE. So "they" say.
~And quite frankly your love for us is just "love-on-paper." You send us cards and notes signed with love but that's as far as it goes. It's not love in deed nor in attitude.
Frankly, you don't seem to care about us, love not withstanding, about our lives and how we feel and how we are doing. We understand that message, but what is this payback for since all we've done for your over the years was done with an attitude of love, caring and good intentions?
It seems that you have thrown the baby out with the bathwater, as "they" say.
I might be only a stepmother but I did consider myself a real family member for the last 20 years, and I lament the loss of that even it was a fantasy in my own mind.
I might have overcome my feelings, forgiven everything, and returned to a state of love...
But that doesn't mean I can trust you with my heart.
Happy Easter anyway. Love, Sandy