LESSONS, LEARNING EXPERIENCES OR STABBED IN THE BACK?

Bolt out of the blue?

The main difference between Lessons and Learning experiences is obvious: "Lessons" imply you were screwed by the universe.  And "Learning Experience" implies you screwed yourself using your own stupidity. 
 
You know the difference between dumb and stupid, right? Dumb is when you don't know anything. Stupid is when everything you know is wrong.

I really don't think some higher power running the universe is on the lookout for me just waiting to get me (if so, where is he when people are shooting at each other?) If I'm supposed to have a lesson, would the lesson be "Some people are out to get you" ?

A learning experience is equally ridiculous. I'm 68. I have, thank you, learned things my entire life. I've learned enough wisdom to write a book. 

I suppose the basic lesson to learn is "Be careful"

Just how careful can a person be? What's the difference between a little careful and a lot careful? And how do you know when it's enough careful? I can't see a differentiation. Why would anyone be non-careful? Even the people who are recklessly uncareful think they are careful.

I've been hearing "be careful" since the day I stood up and took my first step. (Gee, thanks for that lesson, Ma.) Frankly, I don't see much of a difference between "being careful" and being afraid." Neither of which will get you very far in life.
   
I want to see our society stop this awful fad of "blaming the victim." 

Sometimes the situation is that bad and sad things happen regardless of you being careful. Things are not always the result of something you did or didn't do. Not even a result of what you believe, think or feel, or intended. These things aren't "unfortunate" or "lessons" or learning experiences.  They're just unfair, undeservedly tragic or horrid occurrences.

For example I had a friend who got cancer when she was 26. She did everything she could to get better--medical, mental, emotional and spiritual. And she died a year later. It wasn't something that she did or didn't do.  It was something that happened to her. Not a lesson, not  something she caused, and not something it was in her power to undo. It was just a fucking horrible thing to happen to her and her family and friends.

What's the learning experience of fatal diseases? That fate randomly stabs people in the back for no good reason now and then? 

Another example: I called a plumber and gave him a deposit to fix a leak. He didn't show for the appointment to repair it, nor did he call and explain it, nor did he attempt to reschedule. He wanted $5000 to dig a humongous hole under my house.)

When I saw he wasn't going to do the job, I cancelled right away in a written fax to his email and verbally in a phone call.  

And I asked for a refund of my deposit. I have yet to see a dime of my money. He, in fact, has neglected answer his phone, call me or even return my calls.  That's seems a bit odd for a "company" that say on their business card "24/7."

I didn't create this; I wasn't "not careful'; I didn't deserve this, nor was I acting stupid. And, dammit, I didn't need a lesson or a learning experience. I just needed my plumbing fixed and expected to hire someone and get it done!

I don't believe that I'm just a broke little old lady that gripes about everything and get screwed over because she harbors a "victim mentality."  If there was any learning experience to be had it's that this "plumber" conned me, lied, hustled & evaded me and stole from me because he's a cold-hearted conman, a liar, a hustler, and a thief. Just how, I ask, is that supposed to teach me anything?

Now that I've gotten over dealing with the major hurt and anger, you can bet I'm out to get this guy!

I want my money back and I want this guy's business license investigated. I want to press charges for fraud. Or sue him (though I now understand that a couple others have sued him in civil court and he never paid them the judgments.) 

I WAS careful to verify his company before I "hired" him. The company came up clean. It wasn't until I ran up his personal name, I found out what a "bad" person he is. Unless he's using the name of another plumber or another company of that name. In that case, he'd be an identity theft imposter as well as being a thief.

If I can't get even with this guy, I want him to go to Hell. Literally.