My Favorite Actor

My Favorite Actor
Guess Who?


He’s thirty-six but looks much older
Thirty-six, but behaves much younger
Inspires in women -- of all ages
A mysterious sexual hunger

He’s Scots but Irish by descent
Smokes packs of fags a day
And when he was a drinker
Could really put it away

Once a law school student
Who wasn’t very sober
He sang in a rock band Speed
‘Til his schooling was abruptly over

His hair is dark and curly
Especially when it’s long
But when he cuts it all off
Doesn’t look all that wrong

He’s prematurely graying
But he’s still quite a hunk
And all the sources say
He doesn’t live much like a monk

His dancin’ drives the ladies wild
His voice works like a charm
And if he likes to shag a lot
Well, no one sees the harm

He’s an actor in exciting roles
He auditions for movies galore
But his millions of adorin’ fans
Want to see him star in more

He was Creedy in Reign of Fire
And Marek in Creighton’s Timeline
Of course he was the Phantom
And played Dracula one time

He’s rarely on television
His movies mostly foreign
His fans are anxious to see Beowulf
The long wait is getting boring

A magnificent master of dialects
This handsome muscle-wrapped man
Can do any accent he chooses
To the delight of his worldwide fans

Could use a good razor for a change
Or at least a closer shave
But nonetheless his style is fuzzy
Like he ascended from a cave

Fans hope for lots more movies
He can sing for us ‘til he’s hoarse
And bravely do his own stunts
Only until he’s famous of course

We fans yearn to hug and kiss him
We love his he-man might
And when we crawl into our beds
We dream of him all night


By Sandy Schairer, 6/28/06 ©