Health Update

Apparenly the infection that spread through my body over the summer and fall has left me with two or possibly three damaged valves in my heart. I met with a surgeon--a tough surgeon. He has given me 3 weeks to get in shape being able to walk without getting all winded, etc. THEN he will decide if he will take me as a patient. He says he does not take cry-babies and whiners for patients. So I have to get over my fears and face doing difficult things, possibly painful, during my recovery. I have a lot of friends (and their friends) praying for me to get through this. You're are welcome, too.
Love, Sandy

A 40 Year wait

I cried to see the crowds that cheered for our new president elect Obama. I had thought that the young people in this country were apathetic. How wrong I was, thank God.

I remember when they sent that terrified little girl into a new school to start integration 1957--along with the National Guard to protect her and carry her books. I remember when they bussed my own children to different neighborhoods to enforce integration. Some parents were angry, some terrified. I was not, even when a purse snatcher attacked me outside the school.

Later a black family moved into a house two doors down from us and the kids all played well together.

I remember MLK and his famous speeches about the time I graduated from high school and went to camp as a counselor. We were all colors of staff and mostly an assortment of races and backgrounds for campers from the poorest parts of Philadelphia.

That summer we followed the news of the civil rights marches and sang "We shall overcome" many many times as we walked and had camp fires, etc.

AND BOY, HAVE WE OVERCOME!!! Took a lot of years. But here we are--a multi culture society and getting along. With hope and joy.

I never understood prejudice. It must be based on fear. We must work now on our other prejudices, Gays and Fat People.

In mid-school they sent one mixed racial child to integrate there and most of us made friends with her and accepted her into our social life at school...as we later did with retarded children and a blind boy in high school.

It was the birth of the youth movement in the USA.

In the early 60's they sent us one black student and we elected him president of the student council. His girlfriend was one of a handful of Jewish students in a crowd of almost all well-to-do WASPS. We would have integrated ourselves faster had the adults set it up for us. They tore down the school a couple years ago. But prior to that it was mostly black students with a few white kids. Turn-about.

In hippie days we did what we could to tear up old traditions and change the country if not the world. Then we lost JFK and MLK and hopes were dashed. Gloria Steinham on Oprah said it best, it was if our future was taken away from us.

When Obama won the presidential election I was amazed seeing the crowds cheering and dancing in joy-it was overwhelming. I had thought, silly me, that the young people were apathetic. I am so glad I was wrong, I had thought, too that the Others were going to steal the government again and continue to ruin the USA via violating the constitutional rights of the citizens, and unlimited spending for rich peoples causes.

Just how much power and money do individuals need? Enough should be enough. And caring if others may have enough, too. It's not bleeding heart liberal, it's human nature and certainly ought to be a real Christian ideal. Love one another, did He say?

I was thrilled to see that the country has again been taken back by the people and we have hope again after 40 years of down-sliding.

And NOW a president in favor of the people in a democracy created by the people, for the people, and of the people.

All I can say now is YAY.

Sandy Schairer
permission to forward in full with credit to the author, n0 partial quotes please.

Back from the Dead

Hello. I am home again after 3 months of hospitalizations. I missed the end of summer and am well into Fall. I had a terrible infection that started in my spine resulting in two spinal surgeries and then into my heart's sticky valve, and then into my brain resulting in a mild stroke. Since I was prone and in a coma for weeks with my lungs entubed (and could not speak nor move) I have lost my muscle tone. So combined with that and my arthritis, I am having a bit of trouble rehabilitating... i.e.,walking.

I am still on antibiotics for another couple of weeks plus assorted days which my husband administers through my "pic line" in my vein through little nozzles sticking out of my arm.

I have a ton of pills, many of which counteract the effects of the other pills.

And thank Mother FatherGod that they got my blood pressure under control with only 4 of the 5 meds they prescribed.

I have a damaged eye and need to go see about that and still a heart murmur which may or may not be serious some day.

But I assume I didn't want to die and leave my precious husband Ed who is caring for me so wonderfully. I have been told by a psychic that he is my soulmate. I myself remember us being together at lease one other lifetime. She said I must have decided I could not stand looking forward to losing him someday and might have wanted to leave myself first. I don't know.

Now...I have been left with anxiety disorder which one of my docs said is more like post-traumatic stress syndrome. Yes, I think so, I cry when I am sad and I cry when I am happy, too.

So I am practicing typing so I can get back to my writing career.

Love, Sandy

My Birthday is Coming Up June 3

I am in a very strange family...part of the family is very close knit and closed shut and won't admit anyone in except, it seems, blood relatives. They have parties and go on adventures and then send me pictures of what they do...but they don't invite me. Or my husband, and he is a blood relative. They just had a great birthday party for someone else and sent me photos -- to rub it in, I guess.

Bizarre.

Thank God for friends.

I have some close friends that will honor me for getting a year older if nothing else.

Rain

I must be in tune with the Earth.

I get real sick when it clouds up and rains.

Aches and pains. Congestion.

And tears falling

Just like the water from the sky.

Clouds in my head.

I don't call anyone

On the phone,

I stay home alone

And wait for it to pass.

~

I am glad the sun has returned.

My joy and love returned this morning.

I am healed.

(I was always healed

I just didn't know it

In the moment.)

But this too shall pass, huh?

Just like the rain clouds.

[Sigh]

Traffic

I have another rant.

Those drivers who tailgate me in an attempt to make me drive faster...

When they get tired of driving on my back bumper (the speed limit--hint hint) and yank their cars into another lane at a high rate of speed, they see cars in front of me in all lanes going slower than I was. What do they want? They want me to jump over the cars in front of me? I don't see them doing that.

This is especially annoying in the work zones where NOBODY obeys the speed limits anyway. What do they think the slower speeds are for? Might it be for everyone's safety...including their own? I don't think driving over a highway worker would make their day, but you never know.

The big semi-trucks on I-40 are the worst offenders. They get so close to the back of my car that you can't even see their headlights. I get trapped in a rolling box of semi's and they expect me to what???? Fly???

Okay, another thing. Don't those idiots, who speed through the 35 and 45 mile an hour zones in city traffic racing up to the red light only to stop abruptly in the exact same place as the people going the speed limit, know that pushing on the gas pedal to go faster in between red lights USES UP MORE GAS????

Driving at high speeds, especially over the limit by 10 or 20 miles per hour also uses up more gasoline...it takes more gas to get the engine to go faster especially at speeds over 60 miles per hour... the amount you use increases exponentially the faster you go. (Look it up.)

So, you blankety-blank stupid drivers -- get off my bumper and do everyone a favor -- including yourselves -- drive slower and at least pretend to be courteous, and don't use so much frickin' gasoline, it costs enough as it is and it's becoming a limited resource. Where you gonna speed to when it's gone?

Thank you. Good night.
Sandy Schairer, Writer

Writers on Scientology

I know I'm trying to advertise my poetry and short story book on my blog, and this sort of rant might not be the best way to do that...

But first and foremost I am a writer. I'm a writer who finds ideas wildly interesting and has to throw her two cents worth in every now and then for the sake of keeping the freedom of thought, belief and written word alive if for no other reason.


First of all, I want to go on record as saying that the first thing a repressive government/society does when they set out to control people's minds and limit their freedom is to silence the writers. This is proven to be true if you study history even cursorily.

Secondly, I want everyone to know that as long as there are blogs and bloggers continually writing thousands of opinions about thousands of subjects, there is NO WAY the government is going to shut up writers in this country.

Not unless they pull the plug on the entire Internet. I think we are a long way from that. I hope.

Even then, we'll find a way. We can speak our material if there is no paper or electronic way to jot it all down. From our minds to your ears.

So look out--here we go--what was the topic? OH YEAH...

I listened to most of the interview posted on the web in early April of Jason Beghe, the actor who was a Scientologist for14 years, and left the organization claiming they drove him "fucking crazy." Well, he certainly proves his point about being crazy. He rambles and appears confused quite often.

However, he does have some seriously lucid moments and valuable information about Scientology or at least his experience of it. I find it amazing that he still speaks with the jargon of the training and mentions the concepts as if the average person will have a clue what they are, being concepts completely contained within the teaching of Scientology. He's been out of the church for a year already.

Secondly, I appreciate him for coming forth with some information hitherto kept in secret by Scientology. The renegades from Mormonism and other secret organizations have also revealed some of the more strange practices that had been kept secret for years. As far as we know, this type of disclosure has and will keep some people from joining organizations that by reputation have been allegedly preventing freedom of thought if nothing else.

Okay. So what I decided after thinking about Jason's webcast interview (or is that webcasted?) is: Do we -- as innocent bystanders with nothing at stake -- have the right to stop people who voluntarily choose to be brainwashed?

Sure, Nazism comes to mind first. If a mass of people are going to be brainwashed and kill thousands of innocent people, we do need to step in sooner or later in the name of human rights, and heck, just doing the right thing. We stepped in and stopped Hitler because he was creating a Holocaust.

Strange that when China and other countries have and are doing the same thing--purging their countries of unwanted peoples, we haven't done a damn thing as Americans. Hmmm...

In addition, we do find many people in our society showing up to be brainwashed by other organizations than Scientology that have our full nationalistic support...take the military for example. People join and go through training, much like Scientology training--not pleasant but necessary to get from point A to point B alive. The "brainwashing" of soldiers is necessary for national security and other acts of war -- umm, to protect and serve. We count these people, especially the ones that give their lives for the cause, as HEROES. I can't say I haven't known a few, some close relatives of mine, for that matter.

One would think that if anyone (even a brainwashed person, who voluntarily submits to cruel and harsh treatment) would sooner or later realize that they no longer wish to participate -- they can stop, get out, leave, change their minds.

We can still do that in America. At least for awhile.

(The people who relate this to an abused/battered woman who stays with and/or returns to the perpetrator time and time again, has no ability to break away, have a point. But unless she's under the bed wrapped in chains with lock and key, there are many opportunities for women and even children in these situations to realize their plight, desire to change it, and find ways out. Just watching ordinary television one sees the public service announcements about this sort of thing. It's not easy, but doable, help is all around. Go for it!)

I am not saying that these cults that keep members separate from the rest of the world & shut off from all knowledge and experience with other people and information who are taught that unusual things are "normal," should continue. Like those cults they have uncovered and dispersed in Texas (which still exist in NM, by the way.)

But who are we protecting? Are we protecting them? From what? Are we protecting us from them? How? It seems to me that we are protecting them from themselves. That makes no sense. (I would never condone child abuse and a secret, separatist society or organization within a larger culture is still subject to the laws of the land. I think having sex with children whether you perform a marriage ceremony first or not, is still a horrible thing to do. We must stop this sort of thing.) Nonetheless, the pain caused by separating mothers and children is real pain and hurts all of us, not just those few individuals who have to endure it. A solution must somehow be reached ASAP for the sake of everyones mental health and peace of mind, past, present and future.

As much as I am glad that Jason Beghe came forward and told his story about joining, participating, and then leaving Scientology, I am sure someone will attempt to invalidate his personal experience. After all, if he had been a big success--it's would have been because of Scientology (like he said) and since he wasn't, well, they can always point out that he failed because he is failure-material--not cut out for Scientology. He left because he couldn't cut it...much like the soldiers that get drummed out because they are cowards--not sensitive young men and woman who realize being shot at or living in fear that they will be shot and/or having to shoot at other people drives them crazy.

I don't have a conclusion. I can't see a clear "right" or "wrong" here. We can debate this over and over from every angle but we are definitely in a conundrum -- preserving human rights might require we violate human rights to do it.

Now what?
_________________________________________________
Aside: I haven't an information about Scientology. But I am familiar with L. Ron Hubbard who was first and foremost a science fiction writer. Doesn't that sort of send up a red flag when you think of people starting a religion based on his writings? I can't say Scientology is bad or wrong. I just wonder at their use of psychological means to educate their members while bad-mouthing psychology. Life is stranger than fiction, isn't it?

The Vault of the Poeteer -- Buy with PayPal

Book Signing at Hastings on Tramway and Candelaria
April 11, 2008
Those of you in Albuquerque come and have
The Vault of the Poeteer
autographed by the author (ME!!!)
in person
between 5:30 and 9:30 PM

Others can contact me at
sandyliz@juno.com
for information on ordering the book in the mail or
buying the book NOW with PayPal

Happy Easter to the Family

Nearly a year has passed since you had a stranger reject us from your MasterMind Prosperity group, and effectively, from your life.

While it is true that a person's emotional reaction to something IS their own responsibility, that does not let everyone off the hook regarding their own behavior and/or dealing with the results of their behavior whether it was intended or not. We are all responsible for what we do and pretending it has no consequences is foolish.

You said you don't have to feel responsible nor to apologize because you didn't "intend" to hurt me. But I felt hurt and your hostile reaction to MY reaction was even more hurtful and incomprehensible than the original action.

Everything a person does does effect others--in fact, "they" say, it effects the whole Universe, like a ripple effect of throwing a pebble in a pond. "They" also say that you get back consequences from your actions and attitudes, like it or not.

So those two factors would seem to point towards taking responsibility more than trying to "worm-out" of things with hostile emails telling me to shut-up, threatening me with even more hostility, and finally giving both of us the royal silent treatment.

Sorry, but those reactions don't seem any "better" than my reaction to being hurt and becoming sad and angry and consequently being forced to deal with it all on my own.

~

Not that there is a "right or wrong" at play here in Reality. There's just LOVE. So "they" say.

~

And quite frankly your love for us is just "love-on-paper." You send us cards and notes signed with love but that's as far as it goes. It's not love in deed nor in attitude.

Frankly, you don't seem to care about us, love not withstanding, about our lives and how we feel and how we are doing. We understand that message, but what is this payback for since all we've done for your over the years was done with an attitude of love, caring and good intentions?


It seems that you have thrown the baby out with the bathwater, as "they" say.


I might be only a stepmother but I did consider myself a real family member for the last 20 years, and I lament the loss of that even it was a fantasy in my own mind.

I might have overcome my feelings, forgiven everything, and returned to a state of love...


But that doesn't mean I can trust you with my heart.


Happy Easter anyway. Love, Sandy

Author Reviews of The Vault of the Poeteer

The Vault of the Poeteer
write SandyLiz@juno.com for further information

A Sample from The Vault of the Poeteer

Please scan down to the next post and see some of the poems from The Vault of the Poeteer.

Of course it doesn't show the wonderful photo-based artwork that illustrates the poems.

Definition of Poeteer: Similar to a musketeer. A poet warrior who runs forth into the world of battle waving the banner of poetry.

To find out more about the book and ordering a copy, please email me at SandyLiz@juno.com

Thanks, Sandy

Introduction

What is said of art can be said of poetry. “I don’t know art, but I know what I like.” A poet is necessary for poetry, readers optional. However, when a poet (or an ordinary person for that matter) writes a poem, she shares herself−thoughts & feelings, yes−but also a specific time and place with a specific viewpoint and setting. Without someone to share with, sharing is a misnomer at best.

A poem exists in the time/space continuum as a fixed entity. A person reading a specific poem will find it resonating with themselves in the exact same time & space and feeling & thought level the poet was in at the time she wrote the poem, much like a song. However, this makes a poem even more specific while at the same time making it universal. Poems speak for the poet and to the reader in a highly personal way, thus becoming more specific while expanding in relevance.

At any rate, poetry is a literary form as ancient as the hills. Bards of old sang poetry before people could read. It was their history and religion as well as education and entertainment. Poetic thought can exist outside of language, hence was probably used by the cave men − their pictures on the cave walls are their poetic language. We read their hearts, minds and souls when we view petroglyphs.

Just as there is art for the sake of art, there’s poetry for the sake of poetry. For all the wordsmiths, my fellow poets and authors, and people for whom these poems resonate, I give you my poems and heart/mind/soul − no longer locked in a vault but here to be read and experienced.

So, that said, enjoy these offerings from The Vault of the Poeteer,

Sandy Schairer

Poetry as Therapy?

I hope it is just not psychiatric "therapy"

That ordinary poetry therapy aims to be.

A poem is a feeling that comes from – ME !

I feel it, I write it, I change it, oh my,

But the words do come to me by and by

Helping me say what when I didn't know why.

All people are creative along with God Himself.

We can't just use our minds,

Leave our feelings on a shelf.

So get out there, open up and be someone -- yourself!

Therapy or not, write from inner grace.

Put the words on paper or out in cyberspace.

Ssend them out into the world to find their perfect place.

Write them on your own for yourself alone.

Read them in secret, on a stage or a phone.

Find where they flow from − blood, gut and bone.

Feel the rhythm, feel the words.

Yes. Poetry’s for people, not for cats & birds.

And it's simply not only for all us literary nerds.

~

Being Here

Being alive, here and now, sometimes hurts.

I wanted life to be always fun,

To be exciting and joyful,

Every moment 24/7, 364 and a ¼ days and nights a year

Year in and year out for my duration.

Breathing in beauty

Exhaling and starting again

Learning

Tasting

Chasing

Falling and jumping up

Again to run

Just for fun.

Laughter.

And seriousness

(When it’s called for)

But good, and real, and happy.

Where do we catch happiness?

Did we dream it up?

If so–what woke us and made it go?

Must we continue to feel pain and hurt and fear and anger

And --– no no no don’t make me say it --–

grief?

Me, Myself and I

When I see myself

Through others eyes

I don’t like myself

On their behalf.

I think maybe

I ought to have a really belly laugh.

But when I see myself, my life,

Through my own mind and eye

I love me.

I love myself,

The ever-present I.

I am smart

And I am pretty

Though now older and wrinkling.

Might be thick in the middle

But still sharp on top, I’m thinking.

I’m awake and I’m aware

I have feelings, too,

Wow. How I DO care.

My wisdom might be born of

Trial and error, true

But also of regrets

Yes, I’ve known a few.

I’m comfortable as ME now.

I’m glad I’ve gotten to know

“Me” as someone still willing

To learn, to love and to grow.

E.A. Poe: Poet

I used to love the poet
Edgar Allen Poe,
The way he had his sounds
All lined up in a row.
His clanging and banging

Of bells galore,
And a raven who sat
On the top of his door
And when the clock chimed
Would say “Nevermore”

I thought his hard life
Made his talents more sharp,
But his teenaged dead bride
Made his view sort of dark.
A lot of his problem was
Drugging and drink,
It drained his life’s blood
And beauty, I think

And now what’s a poet?
A silly old woman
Who sits with a pen
And tries to stay human.
Are poems ever read?
It’s all mystery adventure
Like Da Vinci Code
And works of joint venture.

So I'll bid Poe farewell
Go soak in the bath
And scatter some poems
On my own writing path.

Nevermore? Is That Your Final Answer?

Evolution?

Animals have very few questions to answer in life.

They have to decide

“Can I eat it?”

And if so, “When?”

Or, “Will it eat me first?”

“Oh, I hope not.”

And “Can I mate with it?”

And if so, “How soon?”

And a few other important things such as

“Is it time to fight,

Or can I lie down now?”

And the big one is always, “Where’s the water?”

Humans are much the same.

Only we wrap up all these choices

In multitudes of detail.

We celebrate every holiday and special event

With food and eating.

And tangle up our sexuality with

Traditions such as

Dating, courting, weddings and marriages.

And the ever-popular divorce.

But life all boils down to the same

Questions within our instincts

“Should I eat now or can I fuck first?”

(Or would that be “make love?”)

And always ask, “Must I fight or can I take it easy now?”

And of course, there would be no life on this planet

If we didn’t answer the question,

“Where’s the water?”

Regardless of how much fine wine

there is in the world.

Life as a Motion Picture

How elegant

Is our suffering.

We really get-off on it, huh?

Exquisite pain.

Watch me squirm.

Hear me cry and moan.

Awww, aren’t I The perfect

Victim?

I win the Academy Award.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Time’s up

Drag me off.

Where’s my next movie?

What’s my next role?

Any plot this time?

Nah.

Didn’t think so.

 From Eve to Me to Infinity

Eli Stone is GREAT

I just watched the new show Eli Stone with Jonny Lee Miller.

It's good. I love it. Please please everybody watch it so they don't cancel it. Please. GIVE IT A CHANCE...it's corny but so so right.

Miller was really good. The story line was great. And I love the metaphysical, mystical approach.

Good job!!! Thank you.

The Vault of the Poeteer

My new book is NOW available. Please contact me at SandyLiz@juno.com to own this book!!!
I'll let you know the address to write to me...author and publisher.
It's $16.95 by mail which includes shipping & postage
(and any tax applicable.)

New Book Coming Out

Soon to be released:

The Vault of the Poeteer

by Sandy Schairer

Original poetry and photo-based art